So you just had a baby. Congrats! Now before you get too comfortable, you should know that celebrities generally take between 10-15 seconds to lose all of their baby weight so you’re already behind schedule.

Remember, the goal is to remove all traces that you were ever pregnant from your body as quickly as you can. Nevermind that you just made a human. That’s nice and all, but the real miracle here is how fast you’re going to shed that weight.Yes, yes, we know your body might be in some pain right now and you may be healing from surgery or a tough labor but you’re not going to let a few genital stitches get in the way of being a MILF, are you?

Yes, your organs are trying to resettle themselves back in their original positions after being pushed around by your baby’s growing body, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hit the gym in between feedings.

Yes, your hormones are all over the place and you may be feeling overwhelmed but you know what will turn that frown upside down? Being a size 0-6.

You’re not eating for two, anymore. Oh you’re breastfeeding? Good. That burns calories. Eat just enough to make milk for the baby and not a cracker more.

You know what’s even more sad than women who neglect and abuse their kids? Women who have muffin tops. Your baby will be so proud of you once you can wear confidently wear a bikini. Taking great care of a newborn is noble and all but what about crop tops? Imagine the selfies.

Now, put your baby on the floor for a second and sit down because I’m about to tell you the two step trick to getting an amazing post baby body. Billions of women around the world use it. It’s 100% free, 100% painless, and is 100% easy. It works every single time for every woman who has ever tried it.

The results are incredible.

Are you ready?

Ok here it is.

The two step trick to getting an amazing post-baby body is to first, have a baby. Then go look in a mirror. Do you have a body? Good.